I THINK THEREFORE I AM

I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn't believe them, I didn't suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always. 

Byron Katie

A few months ago I had some important medical tests and had to wait 10 days for the results. I really had to battle with my thoughts. There was absolutely no point becoming anxious. That wasn't going to change anything and it certainly wasn't going to make me feel better. In the end the tests were all clear.

I am a catasrophiser. As soon as someone is a bit late my head concocts some terrible reason as to why. It is the curse of a vivid imagination. I am sure my father's very sudden death when I was a child also contributed to this. I am all too aware of what can happen even though the chances of it may be small.

So I have to fight my thoughts. I'm not sure that freedom 'is as simple as 'choosing not to believe your thoughts'. I wish it was that easy to sweep away fear and doubt. I find the best thing is to work a day at a time and I just choose to not think about something for that day. I just try to push the negative thoughts aside and think of other things. One psychologist told me that I tend to push things aside and deny them rather than deal with them and this was not good. Another psychologist told me that there was a lot to be said for denial when things are very painful.

According to Karl Ove Knausgaard, "Meaning is not a property of the world, but something we attach to the world." In other words it's not what happens to us that matters but the way we react to it.

 Buddha on the other hand concluded that suffering is unavoidable. It is a necessary part of life and cannot be eradicated. Someday we will all lose loved ones. Someday we will all fail.

There are a lot of times when we can choose how we view an event in our lives, and take a negative or positive view, but there are times when, faced with the enormity of an event we are plunged into sadness, such as the death of a loved one. So suffering is optional to a degree. We can choose the way we want to think about everyday occurrences - we can be a 'glass half full' person or a 'glass half empty' person.But sometimes life changing events can be so traumatic or overwhelming that our automatic responses take over and we succumb to fear or grief.

Buddha said, "The mind is everything. What we think we become."

And in the Bible Philippians 4:8 tells us  "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is ... is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Deacartes said, "I think therefore I am." How we think and how we choose to think are at the foundation of our being.

Underpinning all my struggles is my Christian faith and belief that everything is going to work out for the best in the end. My non-Christian friends think this is a cop out, but in a world of uncertainty it certainly works for me.

A walk on the beach

I was brought up living right by the beach and loved it. I still love walking on it no matter what the weather. Peter and I took a walk on Towradgi Beach.

Towradgi looking towards Wollongong Harbour

Yacht off Towradgi

In the garden

My herb garden is growing well. The oregano and thyme seem to thrive against the brick wall.

Thyme and oregano

Oregano flowers

Some small toadstools popped up in the coriander. I can never resist photographing toadstools.

Two toadstools

Toadstool in coriander

Design

I came across this site of designer Lisa Luby Ryan and just fell in love with her decorating.

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Her style of decorating just resonated with me. I am in the process of very slowly repainting my house from a light misty blue to the off white in the photo above. I am trying to redecorate on a nil budget, but feel this is a style that is possible to copy with some paint and imagination.


Interesting sites


1. Mirrored house blends into forest

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This house with its mirrored facade blends into the Mexican forest. Click here to read more.





2. The rise of sponges in coral reefs.

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Sponges in reef systems are far more likely to survive climate change than isolated sponges. Click here to read more.


3. How biophilia can improve your life.

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 What is biophilia? Click hear to read more.